God's amzing gift... What an amaazing, awesome "Knight"!

Ok…. Im still shocked I got this. This means so much to me, but before I do tell you what it is, you have to hear the story. This blog is intended for all Christians, we are all one with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

So, I went to my church tonite to hear the guest speaker, Father Michael Scherrey. He discussed how we as Christians should be asking more from Christ. He began his discussion talking a little about himself and where he came from. He has was originally a stockbroker for 20 years when he felt God’s call to lead him to serve in the church. It’s amazing how God calls on us and then leads us quickly to a new life. He was only served for 4 years so far, but has done so much for the Catholic Church so far.
The night before I was emailed by the Knights (a Catholic Men’s Organization) an email describing what he will be presenting:

“Fr. Scherrey just returned from the holy Land and I am told he will be giving away 5 Rosaries Tomorrow Night. These Rosaries were made in Jerusalem from the wood of an Olive Tree. They were laid on the Alter and Blessed during a Mass that Fr. Scherrey attended At The Church of The Holy Sepulchre. This is the Place believed to be the Tomb of Our Savior Jesus Christ and the Grounds from where Jesus was Resurrected.”

You know where I am going at with this, even if you aren’t Catholic, to have something as sacred as this would mean something so very dear. To Catholics, this is considered a very sacred item, a very, very blessed sacrament.

Fr. Scherrey asked several men to pick a number from 1 to 100. As he was asking people, a voice told me to pick number “15”, so I was ready to call it out. Then a man in the audience called that number, suddenly I hear “35”, so I called it out. The way that the father picked people was you had to be at or below that number (don’t ask me why). The numbers called out were 1,3,7, 15,33. I WAS GIVEN ONE OF THOSE ROSARIES!!!! I WAS SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! My heart pounded, but it wasn’t just where it came from, but the meaning behind it!

In my mind I didn’t feel worthy to have such an item that so near to my precious Lord Christ. This is something you give to some was worthy. I was speechless. When the rosary was softly put into my hands, I could feel him with me. A voice called out to me “I wanted you to have this, because I want you near to me.” I thought to myself “Lord, I am always with you”, but was I?

I continued to listen to speaker, still thinking of what was going in my mind. How amazing it was to have something that was so close to Christ. Fr. Scherrey discussed that not just we as Catholics, but Christians as well need to find more time in the day to read Scripture. I admit that I need more reading in my life. I have a devotional at my desk and a rosary when I need a little more in my day, but I know that he is there always. Then something struck me at the meeting, Fr. Scherrey said “God doesn’t talk to us when we pray, but all the time, it just a matter how we listen." Tonight, I felt like God got my attention very much and wanted more of his time. Lord…. I want more of you.. I want ALL OF YOU!

I’ll wrap this up, Matt 3:20
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment”

Sometimes, I call on him for only 15/30 mins of my day. I know that after tonight, he’s asking for me to be with him so much more. He wants us for GUIDANCE as well as for help. We pray so much for just what others need or what we need. I think I haven’t been asking a lot of guidance he can send me in a direction that HE wants. Remember, it’s all about Him, not us… We need to tell ourselves we belong to HIM and not just want all of us, but a direction to get us to be all with him.

God Bless

Still have my feens from WOW...

I didn't want to make too much of a big deal about it. A friend told me that as I am having my problems coping with this to write it out.


In the last few days (its been a week now, a little more than that) I still have issues letting go of raiding. I feel the burning inside me to want to go back to it and play. When i feel this i want to do the opposite.

I want to be removed even more from it and it makes me feel like I'm tearing apart a since of my own free will. If this is the case and I do have my own free will. They when can't I choose to be removed from this? Why do I feel the need to go back? It's an addiction, like getting off cigs or alcohol.. I have to give myself time to be removed from the behavior.

God be with me, as I get through this....

With love to all :)

WOW: Follow Up

Well it's been officially a week since I was off World or Warcraft. So, far I seem to be doing well. I still miss the game alot.

I keep telling myself that it's worth it, but i still miss my Friday nights raiding and drinking. Right now, I'm working on a new game that's not online. When I get bored, i can just turn it off, but I see an underlying result from it. I'm not walking away from the overall problem.

So what is the overall problem? I can't seem to find more to do around Katy (where I live). This is a family oriented town, so it's hard for me to meet singles. I think when I was geting into WOW, it was supposed to be temporary until I could find more to do in Katy (which never happened).

What I need to do is find people to hang out with more in Katy. This is my next step, find a church organization to go to, find people around Katy that are single to hangout with.

Anyways, these are just my thoughts at the moment. I'll continue to let you know how I am doing.


Peace.
Samuel

Growing up... leaving my past behind.

Hey everyone

Well ,its 1am (as I write) and I felt like spending some time, sitting here and writing. This weekend, I looked back at my life (I do this a lot) and see what changes are needed in my life. As I have stated easrlier, I am trying to get off a game that I spent 2 years playing and had dedication in.

I looked to this weekend, finding a since of emptiness. I found myself wondering at the age of 30 where my next adventures would begin. I was fortunate to see so much in my college experience, but now it’s time for me to think further on into my future as I sail this new river called “adulthood”. It’s weird, now a days, I think “investments”, “saving”, and “planning”, something in my life I never thought I would do.

This weekend, I came across an epiphany of my life. That I had realized that the drinking till 2am, the video games, the constant single life and being fancy free was costing me not find growth in my life. I didn’t see myself wishing to leave my young adult life and moving on as a man. Even though I wanted to continue to play around in this manner, I felt I was costing me a chance to become more of an adult and resisting an urge that I was holding off that God was changing in me. That change was what a lot of people go through, it’s that change in their life that they have to say goodbye to a since of who they used to be and welcome the next stage in their evolution.

I tell you this because in some ways, when your single , and my age you have families, children, and your roots are sown. You’re prepared for the next step of being settled down. While I await this sooo much, I know that right now if not the time for me, I know that that God will show me the right person and be made ready for her.

So, where am I going in this innate rambling? I guess I’m saying that I am doing this thing that scares the hell out of me, be a man, and accept the changes that I have resisted for so long. I feel that God is getting me ready for my next voyage and even though I look at the last decade of my life, regretting something’s, but savoring every moment of my young adulthood. I can now walk with God, my Lord Jesus Christ, the family I love, and the friends I have and close the door to this decade of my life.

I will leave with one thing left to say (I’ll be short). I haven’t dated for about 3 years. The woman I departed from was someone I had loved more than any woman I ever experienced. To this day, I wonder how she is and what has become of her. The only real regret that I felt, is that I never got to know is how I hurt her to the point that left a longing in my heart. As I leave my young adulthood behind, it’s the one thing that stands out. I hope that wherever she is, she is a happy and doing well. I thank God for allowing me to find a new level of love, compassion, and caring for someone like that in my life and while it doesn’t make a lot of since now, I think when I find “her”, I will love her so much more that the happiness will be on levels, that words cant describe.

Thank you all for being my apart of my heart.

Samuel

Ok, so WOW is actually a very very big addiction.....

Hey everyone

So, when we last left our super hero (Me). I was trying to kick an addiction. Well, since i have not responded to this over a period of like a month and a half, chances are that my gaming returned. For the longest time I never thought of gaming addiction to be something to look at, its just a game.. its not drugs, alcohol, cigs, or gambling... its just a video game, I was wrong.

The one thing I have learned in this experience is an online game is not just a game. I have an addiction, me.. yes I'm not perfect and I cant help but try to do the right thing.. shocker!... I'm human. I have read artcles over this and I'm not the only one having a problem:

http://www.wikihow.com/Break-a-World-of-Warcraft-Addiction
http://www.wowdetox.com/

to name 2 of them..

So.. last night I stepped up the notch fully.. I not just did an uninstall, I unsubscribed as well. It's hard letting go of something that you did for a long time. I spent countless hours running through Azeroth, Outlands, and Northrend fighting and raiding to find that I missed a good 2 yrs of my life on this game. I missed the talk of people, the smell of air, and the existence of life.


So, now what? what do i do to spend my time, I have a wonderful friend named Mere that is helping me through this. I love her so much, thank you for being there (as my friend). She's giving me ideas and advice that's helping me get over this. She was once a WOW player as well and is helping me find a great game that is called me and my persuit of happiness.

I have a Hobby Lobby that I'm going to look at that across the street from me. I thought about doing something "rehabish" to pass my time. Guys, don't laugh, but i was actually thinking of making candles. I cross my fingers on something that takes a different turn towards a recreation, but im sure its a nice steady change from things.


Right now, all i ask is for people to pray for me and be there. Like any addiction it takes time, this next month is going to be interesting. I will be in prayer and yes.. I will be answering my phone :P I hope to hear from alot of you soon.


P.S. I'll be making postings of how I am feeling during times that I need to write. So look for alot of these right now.

Bieng Real

I don't normally write my views or thoughts down. Often times I feel I am a "Island unto me" kinda deal. Lately, I have been feeling more alone, than with people around me.

For the last 2 yrs, I have led a sheltered life. After college I disconnected with people and drove myself to peruse things that became less evolving in my life. In other words... internally I died.

It's weird, I find myself to being a Christian, a child of God. Since I have moved to Katy, I longed for more community and people. I found myself "occupied" in something that didn't have very much of a use, a video game.

To most people, they can look at this as something to sluff off.. "Well, thats not a big deal .. I play so and so all the time..." For me, it was a game that ended up being never ending, thus my ability to pursue more of it.

Until recently, I have been trying to make a more moral move to get away from it and to move to more activities, such as this.

In my life it's easy to "say I'm sorry" to people, but it takes you having to do something about it that makes it more worthwhile. While I did enjoy playing this video game and yes missing it will be there, I feel that I yearn for more in my life than sitting around waiting for things to happen.
An ex-girlfirend once told me that for you as a person to strive for more means to work to achieve it. Today I see that example, God.. I am here for you.


P.S.... Get to know my rantings, they don't make alot of sense at first, but they soon will! :P